


Yesterday, Today, Forever

by hulafreaky



Category: Drew Carey's Improv-A-Ganza RPF, Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-18 01:31:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/874155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hulafreaky/pseuds/hulafreaky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valerie moved to L.A. to start a new life.. It seemed like she had everything. She got the lead in a movie, she met an amazing new guy, and her friends were always there to support her. But, can you really just start a new life while you forget an old one? Valerie's having troubles separating her old life with her new one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

               "Let’s go on that one!" I pointed to Splash Mountain.

                “We should go on that later so then we’re not wet when we go on the other rides." Carly said as we walked around Disneyland. She swiped her strawberry blond hair away from her clean, slightly pale, freckle-free face.

                “But, I’m  _freaking_  hot right now! It’s like a billion degrees out! So, we’ll dry really fast. And since we have the fast pass thing we can go on it later too when we get too hot again." I said as I fanned myself with the autograph book I got signed by nearly all the Disney characters. I just need all the Winnie the Pooh characters and Lilo and Stitch.

                “Yeah, Valerie’s got a point."

                “Thank you, Hilary." I patted her shoulder. “All in favor of going on Splash Mountain raise your hand." Hilary, Rider, Johnny, Lisa, Daniel, and I raised our hands.

                “And it’s unanimous, Carly." Johnny said with a shrug.

                “Daniel! Why didn’t you take my side?" Carly yelled at him. I honestly don’t understand how Daniel’s in love with her.

                “Oh, um. I’m, um, sorry sweetie?" He honestly needs to grow a backbone.

                “Let’s go!" I exclaimed before Carly started a fight.

                Living in Los Angeles has been fun. I’ve become friends with some people in my building. But, I’m not really close to anyone yet. Even though I’ve lived here for only a month, my best friends decided they would come and visit. And honestly, I’m really glad they did. I miss hanging out with them.

                I’ve been friends with Carly, Daniel and Rider since sixth grade. Daniel, with his slight nerdy features and his pale, yellow skin, and Rider, with his muscular body and light brown hair, were in my sixth grade class along with Carly. However, Carly, with her strawberry blonde hair and pale, white, blemish-free skin, was my first friend in my new school. My mom got an amazing job offer so, once I finished fifth grade, we packed up and headed to Vancouver. Being new, I was glad that I made a friend right away. Carly and I were both new to the city. However, where we came from were completely different. She was from New York City, the big apple; I was from a small town in Washington. But even with our childhoods acting as two different worlds, we had a lot in common. And now, having been friends for almost 12 years, she’s my closest and my best friend.

                “See! Now it’s not that hot anymore!" I nudged Carly. My thick, black hair was soaking wet. I attempted to dry my caramel colored skin with my wet t-shirt. Didn’t quite work out.

                “Okay, okay. I get it." She stuck her tongue out at me.

                “Let’s take some pictures in front of that garden!" Hilary said as she pulled out her camera. Her dirty blond hair was pulled up in a bun. She always complained about not having red, ginger hair like the rest of her family, but she certainly did get the freckles.

                I grabbed the camera from her. “Okay guys, get close together! Ready? One, Two—"

                Someone tapped me on the shoulder. “Would you like me to take it for you?"

                “Oh, yes. Thanks." I turned around.

                Oh my god. He is so attractive. He’s a bit overdressed in his gray suit but, he looks damn good in it. I handed him the camera and smiled. As he grabbed it, he grazed my hand and his deep-set, hazel eyes caught mine. Oh, wow. He’s is staring at me. And smiling. What? Is there something on my face?

                “Uh, Val?" Lisa called my name from behind.

                “Oh, right!" I ran to them, posed and smiled.

                Hilary whispered in my ear. “That guy is hot."

                “Dibs!" I called.

                “Ready? One, two, three! Got it!"

                I ran to him and took the camera, smiling. “Thanks."

                “So," He licked his lips. “Are you guys visiting from somewhere else?"

                “Well, they are. I just moved to LA about a month ago."

                “Oh, cool. I’m Jeffrey, by the way."

                I winced. His name was Jeffrey.  _Perfect_. “Valerie." I forced a smile.

                “Hey, Valerie?" Rider called from behind.

                “Oh, yeah." I signaled for one second. “It was nice meeting you. Thanks again for taking the picture." I turned to leave.

                “Wait," I spun around to face him again. “Will I ever see you again?"

                " _Maybe_." Then I turned and bolted it to the group.

                “What was that?" Daniel asked.

                “Nothing." I shrugged.

                “Congrats! You made a new friend in California!" Rider applauded and eventually everyone joined in.

                “You guys are idiots." I punched Rider in the arm.

* * *

 

                "What time is it?" Johnny asked with a yawn. We finally left the park after watching the night show.

                “Umm," I checked my phone. “It’s fifteen minutes to midnight. Don’t worry; the hotel is just across the street."

                “Hey, Valerie." Rider pointed to a dark figure behind us. “There’s your new boyfriend."

                I looked. “That’s not him."

                “Haha, but you didn’t deny that he’s your boyfriend!"

                “Shut up!"

                “Hey Valerie!" Jeff called from the darkness behind us.

                I turned around. “Hi!  _Long-time_  no see." I said sarcastically.

                “I thought you live in LA?"

                “Yeah, but we wanted to watch the night show so we’re staying in a hotel. It’s just over there." I pointed across the street.

                “Oh, we’re staying there too." He gestured to his 2 friends behind him.

                “Haha, what a  _coincidence_."

                We crossed the street and walked to the lobby of the hotel.

                “You guys go ahead." Jeff told his friends. “Don’t wait up."

                I told my friends the same. “Don’t stay up too late. We have to wake up early so we can head to back to your place." Hilary said with haste.

                His friends, who I later learned were named Chip and Jonathan, said to Jeff simultaneously, “Have fun!"

                I giggled. “What’s so funny?" He asked.

                “Our friends are, like,  _exactly_  the same."

                He nodded and laughed. “Yeah. A  _bit_  of an age difference but, still children at heart."

                “To Valerie!" Johnny raised his glass then, everyone followed and repeated him. Everyone at the restaurant looked at us.

                " _Aww_  thanks guys. But, what’s the toast for?"

                “For  _making it_ , of course! I mean, look around. We’re in LA!" Johnny sat back down.

                “Yeah, Val. You’ve always dreamed about moving here." Hilary put her hand on my shoulder.

                “And not only are you here, but you’re gonna be in a movie!" Lisa shouted out.

                Tears began to fill my eyes. “I know! I wish you guys could stay another day."

                “Us too." Carly said with a sad face.

                “Which reminds me, it’s time for us to go to the airport." Daniel clapped his hands together. “Okay gang, it’s already two, let’s head out." We called for our shuttle to the airport.

                “Say, Valerie," Hilary tapped on my shoulder. “You never told us what you and um,  _Jeff_  did last night?" She winced when she said Jeff.

                My phone started to ring. “Haha, speak of the devil." Carly nudged me.

                “Okay, everyone shut up!" I answered it. “Hello?"

                “Valerie?"

                “Jeff?"

                “Yeah. Sorry, I called. I just really enjoyed last night. I was actually gonna call you this morning but, I figured that you were too tired."

                “Yeah, I ended up sleeping on the way back to LA."

                “Haha, yeah. We didn’t really realize the time, huh? I didn’t fall asleep until three in the morning."

                “Same."

                “So, I was just wondering, um, maybe, if you wanted to grab dinner sometime."

                “What’s he saying?" Johnny asked.

                I stuck my finger up signaling for one second. “I’d  _love_  that."

                “So, maybe, tomorrow at seven?" He asked in his sexy, deep voice.

                “Umm, actually, is tonight at six okay?" Johnny and the rest of them made whistling sounds. I covered the phone. " _Real_  mature." I rolled my eyes.

                “Umm, are you with your friends?

                “Yeah, we’re just headed to the airport."

                “Oh, okay. And yeah, six should be perfect. And let’s meet at the front gate of the Pacific Park."

                “Pacific Park? Is that that carnival thing on the pier?" I realized that I sounded a bit too excited when I said that.

                He chuckled. “Yeah. Have you been there yet?"

                “No! I’ve always wanted to go there. I mean, I see it on TV all the time but I’ve never gone." I turned to the group. “That’s what we forgot to do, guys!" I told them.

                “Okay, well, meet me at the front gate at six."

                “Okie dokie. See you then." I hung up the phone and smiled.

                “Looks like you got a  _hot date_." Johnny teased.

                “Shut up." I said as I turned to face the front.

* * *

 

               I  _can’t_  believe it. I honestly can’t. I mean, I haven’t been in the dating world since the beginning of high school. I know that it’s a bit soon to start dating again after my last relationship. And I shouldn’t even be focusing on this. I should be focusing on my work. Well, it’s mid-June and I don’t start filming the movie until September so, I should probably try enjoying the rest of my summer, even with the given circumstances.

                I arrived on my purple Vespa about five minutes after six.  _Yeah, I have a purple Vespa. Deal with it. I wonder if I look okay. Oh! I see him._ He looked super casual in his khaki shorts, purple t-shirt and gray blazer compared to his suit and tie at Disneyland. _And what’s that in his hand? I think it’s a camera. Why does he have a camera?_  I started walking towards him and he spotted me. He lifted his camera and took a picture of me. I couldn’t help but smile.

                “What are you doing?" I asked while giggling.

                “I’ve decided to take photos of our first date since we met because of a picture."

                I twirled and did a couple poses. “That’s a very cool idea actually."

                “Well, it’s probably the  _only_  cool thing I’ve done in my life."

                I giggled. “So, what’s the plan?"

                “Well, do you like hot dogs?"

                “Who  _doesn’t_ like hot dogs?" He pointed to a hot dog vendor. “Yum!"

                We sat down on a bench on the beach facing the ocean. “So, even though we talked for hours last night, I still don’t know much about you." He said as he took a bite into his hot dog.

                “True, we mainly talked about you and your career." I stuck my tongue out at him. “You sure like to talk about yourself." I giggled. “And I can’t believe you’re an improv actor. I love improv."

                “What do you study?"

                “Well, I did study Psychology for a couple years but I got a little sidetracked."

                “Oh yeah, you never told me why you moved to the city of dreams."

                “To fulfill my own dream." I took a bite of the hot dog.

                “And what’s your dream?"

                “A famous triple-threat."

                “Triple what?" He looked so confused.

                “A triple-threat. It’s when you can act, dance, and sing."

                “Oh! Right!  _Pssh_! I’m a triple-threat!"

                “Oh really?"

                “Yeah! Watch!" He stood up and danced. Or at least tried to.

                I stuck up one hand. “No, no."

                “Fine. But, I can act and sing."

                “Yeah. Guess that only makes you a double-threat." I giggled.

                “Oh, haha.  _So funny_. But, I bet I’m a better actor than you are!"

                “Yeah. Uh-huh. Sure."

                He smiled. “So, what’s this thing that got you sidetracked from being a psychologist?" He stuck his nose up.

                “Well, I’m actually starring in a movie. That’s one of the reasons I moved here."

                “What movie?"

                “The writers haven’t chosen a title yet but, I’m one of the leads."

                “And who are your fellow leads?" He put the last bite of his hot dog in his mouth.

                “Kristen Wiig, Seth Meyers, and Josh Hutcherson." I took the last bite of my hot dog.

                All of sudden Jeff started choking. “Wait, what?"

                I wiped my face with a napkin. “So, what now?" I started walking along the beach and he started after me.

                “Well, I planned this out perfectly. After we eat the most delicious hot dogs in the world, we walk along the beach, watch the beautiful sunset, and take some pictures. Then go to the carnival." He stuck out his tongue. “But now, I wanna know how you got not only a part in a movie with my two favorite SNL stars, but the _leading part_!"

                “Haha, they’re my favorite too!"

                “Why won’t you tell me?"

                “Because, it’s a long story."

                “Well, we’ve got  _all_ night."

                I started telling him about how this happened. How I got a part in a movie with the funniest people ever. At the age of 20, after 2 years of studying Psychology, I still didn’t know if it’s what I really wanted as a career. I knew that my mother would want me to have a practical career and she thought singing, acting, and dancing would be hard to build a career with considering that there are so many other potential entertainers out there. But, for my 22nd birthday, my friend hooked me up with an audition for a movie. With my black belt in Taekwon-do as well as my other skills, I got the leading part. So I finished up my bachelor’s degree in Psychology and moved to LA. Basically, what they told me about the movie is that it’s about this ordinary couple who adopt an extraordinary girl who is actually an agent of some sort of association.

                “That’s," He paused. “remarkable!"

                “Haha, yeah, I know."

                “Was the friend that hooked you up with you at Disney?"

                “Umm," I thought about it, debating whether I should tell the truth or a little fib. “No, none of them." I decided to tell the truth.

                He chuckled. “What? She wasn’t good enough to take to Disneyland?"

                I forced a smile. " _He_  was a bit," I looked away. “Preoccupied."

                We talked about more of the preproduction process I have to go through as we walked along the beach, just as he planned. “Wait, there."

                “What?" I asked as I paused.

                “I wanna take a picture." He smiled and pulled out his camera.

                “Well, I think this shot would be much better than me shoving a hot dog in my face."

                “Haha, I thought you looked cute when I took that picture." He poked my nose. “Now, just look off into the sunset." And I did as he asked. “Perfect."

                We kept walking along and he kept taking pictures of me. “Give me that! It’s your turn to be a model now!" I grabbed his camera and started taking pictures of him.

                He laughed. “I’m not as good a model as you!" Suddenly, he grabbed me and hugged my waist and swung me around. I could not stop laughing. “Now, give it back." He grabbed the camera from me.

                With the sun setting, the mood was just right. He looked into my brown eyes, held up the camera and then, the moment was just perfect. You know those shots of the silhouettes of couples kissing? This moment, this incredible moment that made me feel like I could stay like this forever, this was the moment where I was a part of that portrait but, in my own way.


	2. Chapter 2

                I woke up this morning with a big, huge smile on my face. It has been a month since that amazing night with Jeff and yet, it still gives me goose bumps when I think about how perfect it was. And since today is my birthday, he says he has a surprise for me. It’s going to technically be our third date, and we all know what that means. I’ve thought a lot about what is going to happen. I mean, it’s won’t be my first time.

                The way he planned our first date was just wonderful. And that kiss, that kiss was possibly the most memorable kiss I will ever have. It is amazing what can happen within a short period of time. If he makes today as special as special can be, I will never doubt my feelings again.

                “Hello?" I answered the phone.

                “Hey Valerie! Happy Birthday!"

                “Oh my gosh! Evelyn! Hi! Thank you! I’m so sorry I haven’t been in touch!"

                “Oh, no worries. Young girl like you, I’m sure you’ve got a busy life."

                “So how are you?"

                “I’m good. Home just isn’t the same without you dear."

                I frowned. “I miss you, Evelyn."

                “I miss you too, sweetie. You’re like my second daughter."

                “Speaking of that, how is—?"

                “He’s okay. Getting better every day. The treatments are working slowly but surely."

                “Oh, that’s good. Can I talk to him?"

                “Sorry dear, he finally fell asleep. He just needs his rest, but I’ll get him to call you when he wakes up so he can greet you."

                “Okay, thanks. I’m so sorry, Evelyn."

                “Oh, honey. Don’t you worry about it. It’s not your fault. It’s not anybody’s fault."

                “Still, I feel guilty. I mean, the way I left everything. And the way everything went down."

                “Sweetie, it’s not your fault. I promise. You were given the chance of a lifetime. I think he understands. Now, I actually should probably start some of the chores before Geoffrey wakes up. I will talk to you soon, okay?"

                “Okay, Evelyn. Love you! Bye!" I hung up.

                Okay, I’m not going to be sad today. Got to get ready for my birthday.

                “Hey! Happy Birthday!" Jeff leaned in for a kiss in his black suit and tie. “You ready to go?

                “Yep. Are we having dinner? Because I’m kind of hungry."

                “Yeah, it’s only 5 though."

                “I know. I skipped lunch."

                “Oh. Well, we better get going then."

                Jeff opened the passenger door of a Silver Porsche Boxer.

                “Nice car!"

                “Thanks." He said as he started up the car.

                “So, where are we headed?"

                “I told you! It’s a surprise!"

                “Well, yeah. I like surprises but, I’m getting anxious. Can’t you just tell me?"

                “Nope. Sorry."

                “Please?" I gave him my special puppy dog pout. “It’s my birthday!"

                He looked at me and sighed. “Sorry. No can do."

                “Alright, fine. But this better be a darn good surprise."

                We drove for another couple minutes when all of a sudden, Jeff pulled over and looked at me.

                “What are we doing?" I was actually really confused.

                He pulled out a black blindfold from his back pocket. “Put this on."

                “Are you crazy?"

                “No! I’m romantic."

                “Some would think this was creepy. Like you’re gonna take me through a back alley and  _slash_  me to death." I pushed the blind fold away.

                He held it right up to my face. “Just put it on. Please?" he looked into my eyes and I could instantly tell that he was being sincere.

                " _Fine_." I grabbed the blind fold and put it on. “Start driving. But I swear, if we you take me into a back alley, I’ll kick your  _ass_. I’m a black belt, remember?"

                “Haha, don’t worry. You’re safe with me." I really did believe that.

                “Where are you taking me?" We stopped driving and he started walking me down what felt like a pathway. One of his hands holding my left hand and his other on the small of my back, guiding me. Not very well though, I tripped nearly 10 times.

                “You’ll see in a sec.” We walked a couple more paces. “Okay, take off your blindfold."

                I did as he said and the second I took off the blindfold, looked up and saw a big observatory.

                “Oh my  _goodness_!"

                “Come on!" He grabbed my hand and we ran up the steps towards the front doors.

                “Are you sure we’re allowed here? The lights are off and there are no cars here."

                “Trust me, it’s fine." We got to the front doors and he tapped on the glass. It was a suspicious knock that had a pattern to it. Then, a man in what looked like a fancy waiter uniform emerged from the darkness and opened the door for us.

                “Jeff?"

                “Remember when I told you that my friend is an astronomer?" I nodded. “Well, he’s the lead astronomer at this observatory. And he pulled some strings so, I could do this," Suddenly, one single spot light hit the middle of the observatory showing a beautifully set up table with a single rose in the middle.

                “Jeff! You did all this for me?"

                “Of course." He took my hand. “I have to be honest. Before you, I used to be the kind of guy who believed in one night stands. But, after meeting you, I’ve changed.  I’ve never been so invested in a relationship like I am now. I believe it’s because I haven’t met a girl who make me laugh as much you can." He started to lead me to the table. “I’ve never met a girl who makes me feel the need to be by her side, all the time." He pulled out my chair and I sat down. He sat down, took my right hand and rested his other on top. “And I’ve never met a girl who makes me smile, even when I’m not with her."

                I started to tear up. “But we’ve only know each other for a month."

                “I know. But when you feel something, shouldn’t you go after that feeling, full force?"

                I smiled as big as I could. “You’re amazing."

                As the night went on, we had a delicious dinner and dessert. And afterwards, he took me to the big telescope to look at all the stars.

                “I took you here because even if you weren’t starring in movie, you’d always be a star in my eyes." I gave him a long, passionate kiss, pulled away, then looked him in the eyes as he said to me, “I think I’m falling for you."

* * *

 

               The night made me feel like I was in one of those cheesy, romantic books but, it wasn’t actually cheesy at all. “I had fun tonight." I told Jeff as we pulled up to my apartment building. He lent me the jacket of his suit.

                “I’m glad you enjoyed it! I’ll call you tomorrow?" I nodded and he smiled. He slowly leaned in.

                I stopped him. “Umm, do you, I don’t know, wanna come inside?"

                He hesitated. “Oh, are you sure?"

                I smiled nervously and let my head give the slightest nod.

                As we entered my apartment, I asked if he wanted anything to drink.

                “No thanks. I’m okay."

                We awkwardly sat on my couch and stared at the black screen of my TV for what seemed like hours but were only seconds. Then, we turned to face each other. He leaned in and we started to kiss slowly, only parting our lips a little. He started to run his hands up and down my body, then gradually took his jacket from me and reached around to unzip my dress. I started to feel the wetness between my legs. He pulled my dress off and continued kiss me. He softly caressed each of my breasts which gave me goose bumps. He slowly followed the outline of my bra with his lips. He moved back up and kissed my neck. Gently, but I knew I was going to have to wear a turtleneck sweater the next morning. His hand made its way to my bra’s hook. He slowly shed me of my bra while still kissing my neck. I took a sharp breath when he flicked my nipple. I felt him smile into my neck and continued to touch me where my bra once was. His lips met my nipples and started to suck one, grazing his teeth gently over it while his hand teased the other. I tried so hard not to make so much noise gasping for air. He stopped and looked into my eyes.

                He moved his hands down to my stomach, stopping at my black laced panties. He slid them down my legs and I kicked them off. He moved back and removed his shirt. He was in decent shape. His arms were toned and I could just barely make out the outline of his abs. I just let my hands feel his chest, wanting to feel his skin against mine. He started to fumble with his belt. I stood up, naked and took his hand to lead him into the bedroom as he kicked off his pants. Once we got to my bedroom, I pulled off his white boxer briefs. He stood in front of me; both of us naked. He just stared at me in awe. I giggled; searching for a condom in my bedside table. I ripped it open with my teeth and used my mouth to slide it onto his manhood. He pressed me down on to the bed and started to rub my pussy. I gasped and held back a moan. But I couldn’t hold back any longer when he took two of his fingers and entered me. He wiggled them inside me before starting a slow rhythmic pace. I writhed with pleasure. I began to kiss him, trying to muffle my sounds but then moaned into his mouth.

                Jeff climbed onto me and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He moaned as he pushed inside of me. He moved in and out of me so painfully slow. I threw my head back as I thrust my hips fast, trying to get all of him inside me. I ran my fingers through Jeff’s hair. He finally began to quicken his pace. The sound of our skin slapping against each other echoed the room. He reached down to tease me by rubbing my clit.

                “Jeff.” I moaned his name as I feel a wave of heat flow over me. I wiggled and squirmed, feeling myself tighten around Jeff’s dick. After I hit a climax, I felt weak. He continued to thrust into me a few more times before he too is overcome by pleasure. He pulled out and kissed me tenderly.

                And then, the next thing I knew, we were laying in my bed, entwined in my ocean blue sheets, staring into each other’s eyes. “I think I’m falling for you, too."


	3. Chapter 3

                "Hi, Valerie."

                “Geoffrey!"

                “Happy belated birthday."

                I looked at my calendar.  _August 31st._

                “Haha, about a month and a half too late there, hon." I giggled.

                “Yeah, sorry."

                “So how are you? I haven’t talked to you since, what, the beginning of June?"

                “Yeah. I’m fine." He sounded so dreary.

                “Hey, is everything okay? You don’t sound like yourself."

                “Yeah, I’m fine." He sounded so cold.

                “Look, Geoff, we never really talked about what happened. I just—"

                “There’s nothing to talk about, Val."

                “Yes _, actually_ , there’s quite a lot. Are you mad at me?" I could only hear his breathing. “Geoffrey!"

                " _What?_ " He yelled. He sure sounded angry.

                “Geoffrey," I said as calmly as possible. “Are you mad at me?"

                “I don’t know."

                “Look, you told me you understood why I made my decision!"

                “Yeah, I know. It’s your dream, Val. I know. I was the one that gave you that audition,  _remember_?"

                “Yes. I know. And I really do appreciate you for doing that. But, why are you upset with me?"

                “I said, I don’t know!" He yelled again, even louder this time.

                “Is it because of our—"

                “No, it’s not because of that."

                “Are you sure? Because you were the one that called it off. Not me."

                “Yes! I know! Don’t remind me!" He sounded annoyed.

                “And why not?" I don’t care if he’s annoyed. I need to get to the bottom of this.

                “Because."

                “Because why? Because of the money? If that’s the case, I’ll give you all the fucking money that I get from the movie!"

                “No, Val. It’s not about the money."

                “Then, what? Why are you upset?" At this point, I’m really pissed off.

                “It’s not about our—"

                “Then what?" I cut him off. “Why are you upset? Is it about me? Is it because I didn’t stay with you? Because if that’s your reason, let me just remind you that you’re the one that lied about your—"

                " _Don’t_  say it! Just don’t."

I felt myself calm down and start to tear up. “I never, ever would have left if you told me." I sobbed.

                “Yes, you would."

                “No, I wouldn’t!" Tears started to stream down my face. “How could you think I’m that cruel?!"

                “Because you never loved me!"

                “Geoffrey! I did! I still do! I love you!" I sobbed.

                “Oh yeah? Then why are you dating a new guy?"

                “Geoff, I can explain."

                “Break a leg on your first day tomorrow, Val." And he hung up.

* * *

 

                "So, how was your first day?" Carly asked. I had just gotten back to my apartment from Jeff’s for dinner, expressing my excitement for this movie.

                “It was actually pretty fun." I placed the phone in between my shoulder and ear as I searched for the remote control.

                “How so?"

                “Well," I turned on the TV. “Today was just a read-through. But, it was so hilarious because every time Seth or Kirsten opened their mouths all of us just burst out laughing."

                “Haha, that does sound fun. So, what’s the movie about anyway?"

                I grabbed the remote and turned down the volume. “So, it starts off with me in an orphanage, looking all sad because I was never adopted and then Kirsten and Seth come in as this couple that already has a 5 year old girl but the girl wants an older sister. So, she picks me. And then later on, I get a call from the secret service I’m in."

                “What’s the name of the secret service?"

                “It’s a secret, Carly. Duh?"

                She laughed. “Okay, go on."

                “Okay, so I get a call from the secret service and they tell me they need me for a classified mission."

                “What’s the mission?"

                “I just said it’s classified."

                She sighed. “Okay, fine."

                “So, as I was saying, I’ve been called for a secret mission. And I start the night that I got adopted, right before my first family dinner. So, I have to basically come up with reasons throughout the next couple months about why I can’t attend all these family outings they plan because I’m out saving the world." I shrug it off as if it’s no big deal.

                “Who does Josh Hutcherson play?"

                “My love interest. He sort of distracts me from my mission. And he’s the next door neighbor."

                “Well, sounds like fun."

                “It is." I smiled, thinking about the events of today. “Umm, I don’t want to put a downer on our lovely catching up conversation but, how’s he doing?"

                “I don’t know. Hilary says he doesn’t want see anyone." Carly informed me.

                “I hate this." I thought about my brief but brutal conversation with him yesterday.

                “We all do sweetie, but there’s nothing we can do."

                “I feel like it’s my entire fault." I felt myself start to tear up again.

                “It’s not your fault. It’s not anybody’s fault. Bad things just happen to good people."

                “And good things happen to bad people. That’s why I’m in this fucking movie."

                “No, Valerie, you’re a good person."

                “Oh really? Does a good person leave someone when they’re in need?" I started to pace on my living room floor.

                “Yes, because you didn’t know! He didn’t tell you, he kept a big secret from you. And, he forced his mother and Hilary not to tell you."

                “I know! But, I can’t blame him; I mean he’s the one who’s sick. I just can’t help but think that I’m at fault. That I am a bad person for taking the opportunity of a lifetime and leaving him behind." At this point, my face was drenched in tears.

                “Valerie, listen to me." She paused. “Geoffrey was the one that gave you the audition. And when he did that, he already knew he was sick."

                “He did?" I stopped crying for a second to process this new information.

                “Yes, he did. He told all of us back at home. He begged us not to tell you but, I feel like you should know."

                “Thank you, Carly. Maybe I should come and visit. Just make things good between him and me."

                “Aren’t you in the middle of making a movie? Don’t just leave."

                “Are you sure?"

                “Yes, you need to stay there and finish what you started."

                “You’re right. Just tell him that I miss him, okay?"

                “I will. And enjoy your movie experience."

                “I will. Thank you, Carls. Love you!"

                “Love you too."


	4. Chapter 4

                A couple months later, we started shooting the movie. It was different from what I’m used to. I started acting in high school, in plays and musicals, so the whole camera aspect is a bit different.

                It was December, and we had to shoot all the winter scenes. Since it doesn’t snow in California, we actually went up to Canada. Vancouver, British Columbia. I was confused at first when they said Vancouver because when it snows, it’s wet snow. But Carter, the director of the movie, assured me that we were doing the ski lodge scene at Whistler.

                “So, you said you know how to ski, right?" Carter asked as the crew was setting up the equipment.

                “No, I snowboard."

                “Oh right. Even better." Carter explained to me how the scene was going to go. They decided to shoot all the indoor stuff first, which involved me kicking a lot of bad guys’ asses.

                “So, do you remember the fighting scene you learned back at home?"

                “Yep."

                “Okay, we’re starting with that."

                The fighting scene involved a lot of punches, kicks, blocks, jumping and, of course, sweating. Carter decided against hiring stunt doubles since I’m trained in fighting. So, we could put that extra money toward higher quality production. Yes, in this entire action-packed comedy, I have to do all my own stunts.

                “Are you ready?" I asked all of the bad guys I was about to kill.

                “Action!" Carter called out and off I went. One guy sprinted towards me, as I punched him in the face. Another came up behind me and grabbed my hands. I twisted myself up so him and I were back to back and I used him as leverage while I jumped up and used both of my feet to kick two other guys in the face and chest. The rest of the scene continued like that for about a minute and a half, which doesn’t seem like that much. However, when you have to do 20 takes, with 110% effort, you get really tired, sweaty, and gross.

                “And cut!" Carter yelled.

                I ran to the refreshment area and chugged 2 bottles of water.

                “Valerie!" I heard from behind me.

                I spun around and saw all my friends. Before I got to Vancouver, I told them that I was going to be at Whistler and said I would come and visit as soon as I can.

                “Oh my gosh! What are you guys doing here?"

                “We came to see you of course!" Carly exclaimed as she swung her arms around me. Eventually, everyone else joined in and we had a big group hug.

                “So, how’d you get in?" I asked, wondering how they got past security.

                “The main guard let us in." Johnny said.

                “Why?"

                “Because, it was Darren."

                “Darren, as in Darren Smith?"

                They nodded. “Man, I didn’t know he was working here. I should say hi later. I haven’t seen him since high school."

                “Yeah, when you dumped his sorry ass." Rider laughed.

                “Why did you dump him anyway?" Daniel asked.

                “Because," Hilary paused. “She was in love with my brother."

                Everyone laughed for a second then froze when they saw my face.

                Hilary came forward and embraced me in her arms. “Val, he’s doing fine. Don’t you worry."

                “I’m coming home for Christmas." I said abruptly.

                “I thought Jeff invited you to meet his family." Carly questioned.

                “I know, I can just cancel. Just tell him the truth, that I really miss you guys. And besides, it’s way too early to spend the holidays with his family."

                “Yeah, you guys are going pretty fast." Lisa informed me.

                “I know, I should slow it down."

                “Valerie! We need you on set." Carter called from afar.

                “Okay, you guys can stay here and eat." I told them as I pointed to the refreshment table. “I got to go."

                Three days before Christmas, we finished shooting the winter scenes. It was fun, I must say, shooting my first scenes of my first movie in my, for lack of a better word, homeland. Carter wished everyone a Merry Christmas and a happy new year and informed all the actors and crew that production will pick up again in February. So, I had the end of December and all of January off.

                The day that the gang dropped by to visit on set, I called Jeff to tell him that I was going to stay home and spend the holidays with my friends and family. He told me he understood and that he’d miss me every second of every minute of every day.

                “So, what are y’all’s plans for the holidays?" I asked my friends while we played pool at our local hangout.

                “Well, we all decided that we’d spend Christmas with Hilary, Evelyn and Geoffrey. If that’s alright with you." Johnny told me as he hit the cue ball straight into the side pocket.

                “Scratch. And of course that’s alright with me. I was actually planning on doing that if you guys were going to spend Christmas with your families." I grabbed the cue ball and lined it up with the 8 ball. “Corner pocket."

                “Well, then it’s settled. I call my mom and let her know that you’re staying with us." Hilary said as she pulled out her phone.

                “Perfect." I smiled and hit the 8 ball right into the corner pocket.

* * *

 

                "Valerie!"

                “Hi, Evelyn! Thanks for welcoming me into your home!"

                “Valerie, you know this is always going to be your home as well." Evelyn embraced me. It was a hug that I was so familiar with at one time but I missed it so much.

                “Thank you." I smiled.

                Everyone had gathered into the Sterling’s house for Christmas Eve. It was going to be a wonderful Christmas time.

                “So, where’s Geoffrey?” Johnny asked, breaking the silence.

                “He’s just getting ready. He should be down soon.” Evelyn called her son’s name.

                “Does he look different?” I whispered to Carly, remembering that this has been the longest I’ve went without seeing him.

                “Umm, not really.” She shrugged, not knowing what to say.

                As she dropped her shoulders, Geoff descended from the stairs.

                “Hey, Geoff!” Everyone greeted him. He waved but had only made eye contact with me.

                I stood up and slowly made my way to the ginger-haired man of the house. I looked him straight in his brown eyes and I knew that he was still hurting.

                “Hi.” I said weakly with a small shy smile.

                “Merry Christmas.” He said in a cold tone but his smile showed that he still loved me dearly.

                “Did your sister tell you I was coming?” I asked quietly even though the rest of our friends were conversing loud enough for me to talk in a normal voice.

                “Nope.” He shook his head. “Guess she wanted to surprise me.”

                “Surprise!” I exclaimed while throwing my hands up in the air jokingly.

                “Same, old Hilary.” He laughed.

                I smiled at the man I was once deeply in love with. “I missed you.”

                “I missed you too.”

                The rest of the night was incredibly fun. I really missed hanging out with all my friends. Everyone was so humorous, making me laugh with every word that spit out of everyone’s mouth. Evelyn made the most delicious turkey dinner I have ever tasted, however, I have been eating my cooking for the past 6 months and my palette was utterly destroyed.

                “That dinner was amazing, Evelyn. Oh, how I missed your cooking!” I chuckled and my friends joined in.

                “Glad you enjoyed it! We really have missed you around here, Valerie!”

                “To Valerie!” Johnny raised his glass to me and the others followed his lead.

                “I love you guys!” I raised my glass.

                After we had all helped clean up, we gathered in the family room and turned on the fireplace. The sun had set and the moon had risen. It was beautiful. And, Vancouver weather had finally decided to be great and flakes of snow began to fall and stick to the ground.

                In the middle of everyone’s conversation, Geoff stood up and looked directly at me. “Valerie? Want to go for a walk outside?”

                Everyone’s gaze moved from Geoffrey to me.  _How could I say no?_

“I would love that.” I smiled.

                Once we bundled ourselves in warm clothes, we headed out for the much needed talk.

                “So, what would you like to talk about?”

                Geoff grasped my attention with those two daunting words. “Why  _him_?”


	5. Chapter 5

                “What?” I asked. I knew what he said but I wanted to buy myself more time to think of an answer that would be truthful but wouldn’t hurt his feelings.

                “Why him?” He asked again, this time with more hurt in his voice.

                “I don’t know, Geoff. He’s—”

                “Better than me?”

                “No! Not at all, Geoff. I love you. In fact, I still do. But, we took our separate ways.”

                He nodded his head as if he understood. But, the expression on his face made me feel like he just couldn’t take it anymore. I decided to make the night happy again.

                “Remember that time when Hilary asked Johnny out but then he came out of the closet?”

                He laughed so hard. “Oh my god, yes! And Hilary thought it was because of her!”

                “I laughed for days after that!” I put my hand on his shoulder as we walked around the neighbourhood with the beautiful snow falling around us.

                He put his hand on top of mine and looked down at me. “Me too.” He smiled.

                We continued talking about all the memories we shared together whilst walking aimlessly around the town. We came to a very familiar part of town and before I realized what I was saying, I managed to get out, “What happened to us?”

                Geoff looked down at me, shocked with what I had just said. “Umm, I don’t know. Like you said, we kind of grew apart.”

                “But you still love me right?”

                “Yes, I do.” He stopped walking and took my hand in his.

                “Do you remember the last time we were here?” I asked, thinking that he would say yes.

                He just stared into my eyes, already knowing what I was talking about. “I do.”

                I thought back to that night precisely one year ago. It was the eve of Christmas the previous year and Geoff and I had been dating for 7 years.

_“Why have you been so quiet tonight?” I asked him as we walked through the nearly deserted town._

_“I haven’t been quiet.” He replied._

_“Yes, you have.                 Quieter than usual.” I smirked. He took my hand and stopped walking as we reached the middle of the town’s garden gazebo. “This was where you first asked me out, you know.”_

_“Of course. How could I forget?” He responded with a smile. I smiled back at him as he continued. “And this is where we had our first kiss.”_

_I giggled. “And how could I forget that? You failed tremendously.”_

_“I did not!” He defended himself._

_“Oh, yes, you did.”_

_“Well, it was my first kiss, okay? Anyways, I brought you here on Christmas Eve because this is where we had many of our firsts. Seven years ago today, I told you I love you, right in this very spot, and you said thank you.”_

_I laughed at that old memory. “And I said I love you too right after!”_

_“Yes, you did. And that is when I knew, you would be the one I marry.”_

_I began to realize what he we were doing there and felt myself start to tear up. “Oh my gosh, Geoffrey!”_

_He got down on one knee and reached into his right coat pocket. “Valerie Marie Carson, I have loved you ever since you spit on me when I insulted my sister in front of you. I love your smile, your big, brown, innocent eyes. I love anything and everything about you. And that is why,” He pulled out a black ring box. “I am asking you this question.” He opened the box, revealing a beautiful diamond ring that shined in the moonlight. “Valerie, you are the love of my life. Will you marry me?”_

_At this point, multiple tears had run down my face. I nodded my head, ever so slightly. And with that, he smiled the biggest, brightest smile I have ever seen and quickly put the ring on my left ring finger. He jumped up and embraced me in a deep, loving kiss._

                “And I remember every second of it.” Geoff smiled as I came back to reality.

                “Me too.” I felt myself tear up.  _Why was this happening? I love Jeff._

And then all of a sudden, I felt Geoff’s familiar lips on mine. The kiss lasted longer than I had thought and when I pulled away, I saw a dark figure over Geoff’s shoulder.

                “Jeff?”


	6. Chapter 6

                Everything after that had spiraled out of control. I was shocked to see Jeff there, behind the man I had just kissed, with at least 2 dozen roses bundled in his arm. Everything was so surreal. I couldn’t remember if Geoff had kissed me or if I kissed him. And even if he was the one that had initiated it, I had complied. Why though? Why had I done that? I love Jeff. Or do I? I thought I did. But kissing Geoff there in that gazebo where he had asked me out all those years ago, and then proposed me only a year before this one. I was freaking out, only in my head, the silence of the night leaving me alone with my thoughts.

                “Jeff?” Geoff questioned, turning around to make eye contact with the man that I had just questioned myself.

                I scooted my way past Geoff. “What are you doing here?” I asked with a harsher tone than I thought.

                “I came here to meet your family since you couldn’t come and meet mine.” A tear began to fall from his eye.

                “Jeff, I can explain.”

                “No need. I never should have come in the first place.” Jeff ran back to the taxi that he had just exited from.

                “Jeff, please!”

                He opened the door and put his left foot in the car. He looked back at me with another tear rolling down his face. “Merry Christmas, Valerie.”

                I managed to watch him leave before fell to my knees and cried into my hands. I heard Geoff come up beside me and rest a hand on my shoulder. I expected him to say something selfish like, “You’re better off with me.” But instead, he kneeled down beside me, wiped a tear from my cheek and whispered, “I’m sorry for putting you in this situation.”

                “It’s okay.” I barely spit out my reply in between sobs.

                “No, it’s not.” He muttered. “I confused you. I can tell. If you loved him more than me, you would have run after him. And if you loved me more than him, you would have told him then and there. So now you’re left with a broken heart, puffy eyes, and a man who has loved you for almost your entire life on his knees once again.”

                I looked up at the man who was attempting to cheer me up. I could see that what he said came from his heart.

                “What do I do?” I asked.

                “I can’t tell you what to do. If I could, you know what the answer would be. You need to come up with an answer yourself. But, it is the holidays. And I know you; you hate to be the centre of attention when it comes to these gatherings. So, you have the rest of this old year to decide and you will be able to start off fresh with the New Year.”

                “Are you sure?”

                “Yes. Only you can decide. If you do happen to figure out everything before the new year, or even tonight, that’s great. However, no one is rushing you. Especially me. I have waited for you my whole life, I’m sure I can wait a week longer.” He trailed off.

                “How can you stay sane and not be mad at someone who has broken your heart multiple times?”

                “Because, I have loved you for as long as I can remember. I can never stay mad at you.”

                How could I choose? I love both of them. But it is a matter of who I love more. Who do I want to spend the rest of my life with? Who will stay with me through thick and thin? Who will love me no matter what? There are so many questions, and if I find the answers to them, my love life will no longer be a mystery.

                “Geoff, I’m sorry. I need to be alone with my thoughts.”

                “Okay.” He put his warm hand lovingly on my frozen cheek. “What should I tell the others?”

                “Tell them that I needed to think about stuff. I just, I just need to figure this out. If I don’t figure it out soon, even more feelings will be hurt.”

                He nodded his head, kissed me on the cheek and turned to leave.

                As I watched him leave, I looked up to the night sky. Flakes of snow were still falling. My nose started to run.  _Why me?_ I asked myself. Why had I done this? I couldn’t stand hurting people. It hurt me more than it hurt them. I wish I could just fix everything in one swift motion. I wish my life was like a joyful movie so I knew there would be a happy ending for everyone. But, this isn’t a movie. It is real life, and real feelings at stake.

                I continued walking through the empty streets. I stopped to say Merry Christmas to those who were also wandering around alone. I started to cry at the situation I was in.

                “Why me?”I asked myself again; this time out loud.

                “Merry Christmas.” I heard someone say behind me.

                I suddenly knew who it was. The one person that could help me through this. Help me figure out what is racking my brain. But then I stopped. How could it be? This person had left me long ago with only a broken heart and tears. I didn’t want to look back and see how this could be. I was afraid. I had to do it though. They’re the only person who could help me fix the problems that I had caused.

                I turned around to come face to face with a familiar being. The same features as I remembered but all in a translucent, white state.

                “Mom?”

                “Hello my sweet girl.”

                “Mom? I don’t understand. You died 15 years ago!”

                “I know, my dear girl. But, do you remember that day in the hospital? My last day there? You knew I was leaving, as did I, but I told you something.”

                I thought hard about that day that I tried to forget but still remembered vividly. I nodded my head and flashed back to 15 years ago.

                 _“Mom, please, please stay with me.” I cried. I was only 7 when she died. She had been the hospital for quite a while and she was getting sicker and sicker with each new day._

_“I want to, I really do, Valerie. But, I can’t.” She said painfully._

_A tear rolled down my face. She wiped it away with her weak, shaky hand. “I love you, mom.”_

_“I love you, too. And remember, I will always be here,” She pointed to my chest. “In your heart. And when you really, truly need me, I will be there, helping you along the way.”_

I looked back up at the ghost-like figure in front of me. I stuck my hand out for hers as she did the same. The moment we touched, I felt a chill down my spine.

                “I miss you.” I cried.

                “How can you miss me, dear, when I am always here?” She pointed to my chest and I felt another chill roll down my spine.

                “Can you help me?” I asked, hoping; praying that she would say yes.

                “Of course.” She smiled her warm smile. The smile that I recall seeing everyday as a child.

                “What should I do?” I begged for an answer.

                “I can’t tell you what to do; Marie,” She called me by my middle name like she used to. “Only you can truly know what to do. I am her for support. The support that you need because I promised you on that day oh so long ago.”

                “Geoff has cancer. The same kind you had. I don’t know if I can go through all that again. I can’t watch him die, mom. I just can’t.”

                “Well, Marie, do you want to leave him then?” She asked, not showing in her voice that it is an utterly bad decision if I did.

                “No, I don’t.”

                “And how do you feel about Jeff, the one that you’re currently with? Would you leave him if he had cancer, as well?” I shook my head. “Of the two, which have you thought of and thought to yourself, ‘I will be really happy with him. I will love him for the rest of my life.’”

                I looked down at my feet.  _Why was this so hard? Shouldn’t it just come easily to me?_ I picked up the chain necklace that I hide underneath my shirt. On it was the ring that Geoff gave me when he proposed. When I tried to give it back to him, he told me to keep it. So, I did. On a chain necklace. Does that mean I still love him? Is he the one I should pick?

                I looked down on my wrist. It was a charm bracelet that Jeff had given me after we had dated for 100 days. It was a romantic gesture. The charm bracelet wasn’t just a standard one you get at a store. Each charm meant something to the both of us. He sat me down that night he gave it to me and told me what each meant. One of them was a Mickey Mouse charm, representing when we met. There was also a little camera, a star, and many other things that had a specific meaning to them. It was sweet and I wear it every day. Does that mean I love him? Is he the one I should pick?

                I looked back and forth between the necklace and the bracelet. Which one do I love more? The bracelet or the necklace?


	7. Chapter 7

                “Valerie! What are you doing out here?” I turned around to find Evelyn running up to me.

                After my encounter with my late mother, I went back to the gazebo. I couldn’t decide. I think my sympathy is clouding my judgement. I love them both but, I might be sympathizing with one and that makes my love equal for both.

                “Hey. Val? What’s wrong?” Evelyn came up and wiped away my tears.

                “I’m hurting everyone around me!” I clenched my both my fists. My left holding the necklace and my right holding the bracelet. I began to burst into tears.

                “Valerie,” I didn’t listen to her. I just kept crying. She grabbed my shoulders and shook me. “Valerie!” She shouted. I stopped and looked at her.

                “What?”

                “The only person you’re hurting is yourself! You’re causing yourself so much pain and agony just over the fact that you think you’re hurting everyone.”

                “I’m ruining everyone’s Christmas.”

                “Sweetie, you’re only ruining  _your_  Christmas. Where are you? In a spot where you think you hurt the hearts of the two men you love? No, you are here; outside; alone, while your family and friends are inside by the nice, warm, holiday fire, enjoying their Christmas Eve.” She embraced me in her arms. “Valerie dear, I have known you ever since you were a little girl. I know you want to make everyone happy, even if that means you can’t be happy yourself. You put others in front of you. That is how you always been and that it what I love about you. But, right now, you are the one that is supposed to be happy. You are the one that is supposed to be put in front of others.”

                “But, I think I already ruined my chances. It’s too late.”

                “You are never too late for love, sweetheart.”

                “Evelyn, I don’t want to keep anyone waiting.”

                “Well then, let’s get back to the house.” She got up and smiled.

                “No, Evelyn, that’s not what I meant.” She sighed and sat back down. “When Geoff was talking to me before, he mentioned something that really hit me. He said he has been waiting a long time to be with me and that he can wait longer.”

                “That does sound like Geoffrey.”

                “But that’s not what I want! I don’t want to make him wait! He already has to for…” I trailed off, not wanting to bring up something so dreadful.

                Evelyn grabbed my hand. “Valerie Marie Carson, you do not have to worry about Geoff. He’s a big boy. He can handle anything you have to say. I know you love him. He knows that too. But, this other Jeff, he’s special to you as well, right? You need to think about who makes you feel like you’re on top of the world; who treats you like you’re their everything; who you want to spend the rest of your life with.”

“But I feel like they apply to both! They both treat me like I’m a princess and I want them both in my life.”

Evelyn sighed and put her hand on my knee. “Let me try something. Close your eyes.” You did as she said. “Picture yourself, in your wedding dress. You look beautiful all dressed in white. You have waited for this day ever since you were a little girl. Your bridesmaids help you walk over to the beginning of the aisle. You see the man that you’re to marry talking to his groomsmen. You can’t make out his face. But, once the music starts, your cue to walk down the aisle, he turns and spots you. Tears well in his eyes.” Evelyn rubbed my back. “Open your eyes.”

“Wow.”

“Do you know now?

I smiled with relief. “I do. Thank you so much, Evelyn!”

“Alright, let’s head back now.”

Both of us walked back to the house. Evelyn didn’t ask me who I chose. I’m glad though. I don’t want to jinx anything. I hoped that this decision was right.

As we got to the house, we saw an ambulance with its flashing. Evelyn and I shared a look of worry before we ran over to see what had happened.

“Geoffrey? Geoffrey!” Evelyn called out. She spotted Hilary. “Hilary, where’s your brother? What happened?” She was worried sick.

“Mom, he fainted. We were worried so we called 911. He’s in the ambulance right now.”

“Has he awakened yet?”

“No.”

Evelyn and I ran towards the ambulance. “Alright, who’s riding with him?” The paramedic asked.

“She is.” Evelyn pointed at me.

“Evelyn, he’s your son.”

“No, you need to be with him. He needs to see you right as he wakes. We’ll meet you at the hospital.”

Tears started to fill my eyes for another time tonight. I got in the ambulance and sat down beside the man who has loved me forever. I looked him, oxygen mask, IV attached to his arm. I leaned down and kissed his forehead. “I love you, Geoff.”


End file.
